That’s Life..

I was asked a question by someone..and I was surprised by how I answered it..

" Why are you the way you are? Why do you pray 5 times a day? Why do you bother wearing a scarf?  A lot of muslims don’t ..why do you? Why are you the way you are..?"

It was definitely…a valid question..but it bothered me that an inquiry as to why I am myself had to be such a hot and debated issue. How can I explain why I am the way I am?

I don’t know if my answer made sense..but here was what I said

"I wasnt always the way I am now..there was a time when I did not consider praying 5 times a day important, there was a time when I did not consider wearing a scarf to be important either and the was a time when being a Muslim did not mean much to me..and yet nobody forced me to be who I am today..I made that choice..contrary to popular belief..there is always a choice..you just have to have the strength to make it..I decided to delve and discover my religion, the path to finding who I am and who I need to be when I was in the UK..I’ve lived there for so long and was so used to its surroundings..I admit.. I was Westernized..I was kinda confused as to who I am.. I went to classes, mosque events..anything that could enlighten me as to my obligations only to learn that it was not an obligation..but again..a choice. After learning more about my religion..there was this big decision as to whether I was willing to change my whole lifestyle..my comfort zone..the way that I was so used to being for as long as I could remember.. and honestly..it was the easiest choice I have made in my life.. they were repercussions of course…if you were previously the hottest, sexiest chick around..u’re now the religious freak that scares the shit out of everybody..the best friends u previously had..suddenly are strangers whom you’ve never met..and you’re no longer cool or phat..but I was never angry..I knew that I was still hot and sexy..just not by normal standards of course..my friends? they would have accepted no matter who I was if they were for real..and I am cool..just not according to their definition of course..Why did i make that choice?..because for me..life is too short for me to forget the fact that something is waiting for me after this life..and that applies to every religion, dont you think so?..and so I made that choice in the hope that I have made a start to where I am supposed to reach in my religion on the right path..that path is very important to me…and your answer?..all of the above is my friend… with one last detail that underlie it all for me - LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR ME TO FORGET WHY I’M HERE"

Does that make sense..? I dont know..but its the only way I can explain it..

Thank you for the question L M L..I’m glad I made sense to you .. and welcome to the religion of Islam on 3.6.2006.. I hope you and me both..have picked the right path to our destination.

^_^

All praises are for you Allah, how I hope that you are there.
For sinful though I know I am, your displeasure I can not bear.
Never, till this moment, did I realize how much I’ve strayed.
Never, till now, was I more conscious of all those times when I should have prayed.
For sins are like heavy baggage, that one carries through Life, the airport.
Why didn’t I realize sooner, that Earth is but a place of sport?
Ya Allah ! Forgive me. Save me from the fire of Hell.
Forgive me as you did my parents, from Jan’ah though they fell.
Ya Allah ! Protect me. From myself for my soul is weak.
Let me not falter ever, for Jan’ah is the abode I seek.
Ya, Allah! Please help me. For I don’t understand and thus, I fear.
What happened to all those moments when I never doubted that you were near ?
My actions once were guided, by my faith which, once, was strong.
Ya Allah! please guide me . What happened, what went wrong ?
Each footstep that I used to take, I took with you ever near my side.
The Quran was my faithful companion, Rasoolallah my beloved guide.
How I yearn for those bygone days Allah, for I know that the day comes near
When we’ll each receive our just rewards, and Truth will stand sparkling clear.
Life is like a spider’s web Allah. We get caught in its tricky snare
So thoroughly are we disillusioned, time for salat we can not spare.
I sit here and I wonder, Ya Allah! Why did I fall so low ?
What happened to my faith Allah? Where did my Iman go?
In this earthly life of ours, so often does sin seem right.
Falsehood seems to be the truth, as if days are confused with night.
Man is an imperfect creature. And thus, Man shall always wrong.
For the road to Jan’ah is rocky, and the journey seems awfully long.
Ya Allah ! Our creator, we are all just peices of clay.
Please help us with our steps in life, and let us not lose our way.
All praises are for you Allah, I know that you are near.
I know that you have read my heart, and my words I know you hear.

Its been almost 2 months since work..and I’m getting used to how hectic it is. Its not that everyone is busy all the time..U can relax and hide in a corner if thats ur cup of tea.. but I love work…I love learning new things…trying things I’ve never tried before..going places I’d never thought I’d go.

Anything interesting..? well..within 5 weeks..I’ve managed to get retention offers from 3 different departments..but..I’m keeping my options open..and I’ll let the whole 9 months pass before deciding. People like the work I’ve done for them.. and hence they give me more work..It’s ok..but it is tiring..

The only good thing that makes me smile at the end of the day is when I know that I get to go back and see my my family..and most important of all… my aries..who somehow always makes everything ok..

Thank you for the unfailing support mum..ayah..sis..akmal…and..my dearest ARIES..

Always..