That’s Life..

I’m gonna be home on Saturday…!!!

Oh how I miss my mummy and papa..Kema and sis..and the fishies..and my pond..and the PS2..

These are happy..happy times!!!

Tapi..hubby tetap akan pulang ke Johor Bahru..sob sob..bila agaknya nak ditransfer ke KL? Hope is what keeps me going..

Packing up little boxes where I put my stuff to go..Its funny how you can put things that define your life in just mere boxes..and how life is only marked by a tombstone in death..

Am gonna eat "malabari" first thing when I reach  home…dah ada craving yang teramat sgt..rindu masakan ibu..

Rasa teringin juga jumpa family in law..sbb diorang sporting..tapi berjalan jauh sebelum habisnya first trimester ni mcm tak digalakkan..hmmn..

Which brings me to another piece of news I want to share..

Me and Aries (well, especially me..ngee) is expecting..I am almost 2 months in the process..haha..puas hati planning for 8 months..sebab nak enjoy dulu as honeymooners..We are so glad we waited..and we are also glad it happens immediately after we decided to stop waiting..sebab org kan cakap macam macam..jgn planning for first baby la..nanti tuhan tak nak bagi zuriatla..jgn pakai apa apa untuk planning la..dosala..bla bla bla..crap crap crap..

Bukankah zuriat itu ketentuan Tuhan? Biarlah Tuhan saja menentukan..kenapa harus semua orang bising bising..menyibuk dalam kehidupan org lain..I just watch and listen in amusement most of the time…Ngee..Memang kena bukakan minda tu sedikit yee?

Thank you for the wishes kepada sesiapa yang tahu in advance..Please pray that this baby will be safe sampai matanya dapat melihat indahnya dunia ye?

Ohh.. and semalam ada going away party for me with my friends here..sgt sgt enjoy!! Ahhh, such happiness and bliss for me..walaupun the firm was an unpleasant experience..terjumpa pula kenkawan yg seronok..

Aries pun join semalam..tuh yang dia sakit tekak and MC hari ni..Ngeh ngeh..kesian awak..

I Love You..

But I think you already know that..but I still would like to shout it loud to the whole world..!!!

Betapa dalamnya cinta itu..

Tapi seganla..

Yesterday ada lawyers and partners meeting..

Partner said "Lets not beat around the bush, I’ll get straight to the point"

" I want lawyers to co-operate with each other and be an example to the staff..I want you to be dedicated in your work to the firm..blah blah blah..so kalau you tahu despatch busy tak boleh collect your documents and hantar documents you..you can make the initiative to do it yourself…"

Another partner - " Sabtu nanti must come to kemas bilik stor…blah blah..pantry kotor laaa..kene kemas jugak"

Say WHAT?

1. Kalau tak cukup despatch BUKANKAH ITU SATU PETANDA KENA HIRE MORE DESPATCH?????  Kenapa hantar lawyer jadik despatch? Ingat lawyer takde keje lainker? Dahla suruh org gi signing sabtu ahad tak kira..tapi we lawyers OBLIGE for the firm..nak suruh ganti despatch pulak? EH..WHERE DID Y’ALL PUT OUR YOUR BRAINS?

2. Nak suruh kami dtg sabtu sebab NAK KEMAS STOR DGN PANTRY?!!! Dont you have cleaners to do that??? I mean seriously???? Need I say more to demonstrate what an idiot these people are???

Bila aku tanya nape tak employ special people to do those jobs permanently, dia ckp nak CUT COSTS!!!! Kalau camtu tak payah bukak firm la..ko nak kerah lawyer buat mende bodoh camni sebab nak CUT COSTS!!!!

FYI - You have to spend money to make money..duhhhh..how did you think the other giant firms in Malaysia managed to expand? They spend money knowing they’ll make 10 times that in their investment to expand..NAPE BODOH SGT NI?? Are you really partners? SERIOUSLY???

No wonder..staff baru keje seminggu terus tender..chambering student nak tukar firm..BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR FIRM SUCK..

Hubby said " If you can’t beat them, join em.."

I say "No way I’m joining these idiots..baik gua angkat kaki"

As the Johoreans would say.. "SENGAL"

Memang…memang firm ni tersangat SENGAL..

I was just..speechless..

So much for the meeting….

Well…

This month is my last month in JB where 2 months ago..I just realized that this place is not where I wanted to call home..

Aries was against me coming in the first place..tapi me being me..degil..and then actually.. I was afraid of missing him too much..so I quit my high flying job..refused a slew of other lucrative offers..went to JB and started at this place I can’t wait to leave now..

Ahh..terburu-buru membuat keputusan lah iza ni..the exact words Aries told me..and at the back of my mind, perhaps then..I acknowledged that yes luv, you are right..the moment I stepped on JB soil (for good I thought at the time)..but my oversized ego refused to admit that maybe..maybe I made the wrong choice in coming here..

Boy, how right Aries was became as clear as daylight as the months flew by..Miserably missing my comrades..Sri, Sue, Fara, Rishwant, Huda, Carol ..infamous partners in crime..made me sour..it made me lonely..extremely..and its effect? I wanted Aries to stay home with me at every available moment..but of course.. he couldn’t do that.. at the precise moment I thought that my life had ended by coming here..I realised that his had begun…he had new friends..really nice ones I might add..career taking off…he had begun his new life..something that I might not necessarily be a part of..and resentful was what I became..

I missed my family..missed my special sis whom I had never been apart from since her accident in UK..and since the firm I was working in was inconsiderate enough to make me work every saturday.. I could not go home on weekends..I hated my job..I missed going to court..and I was unhappy..unfulfilled..

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do..Stay here just so I could have Aries by my side? or go back home and live the life I wanted to life..and be apart from him..It was a tough choice..

In the end..I decided that if i stayed, I’ll cease to become the person that Aries had fallen in love with in the first place..there were days when I looked at myself in the mirror and I no longer recognised the face that looked back..and that terrified me..I think in some ways, it scared Aries too..and the choice had to be made..

And I made it..

It feels as if a heavy weight has been lifted from me..and I smile genuinely these days..a much happier person.. A job awaits me in KL (interesting one I hope, Eric *wink*) with smiling faces and the welcoming arms of many, many friends..that i have sorely missed..

I guess both me and Aries realised that we can’t live our lives solely for the happiness or fulfillment of just one party.. different things complete us..make us whole..inspire us..and we must do what we know in our heart is the right thing..

We’ll never be apart, we might be so in body, but not our spirit, mind and heart..

I love you..always..(anyways, you can still chase me around on weekends *grin*)

I need to vent!!!

If I have to do one more stupid piece of conveyancing work that I know nothing about and that I did NOT sign up to do in the first place, I’ll go MAD..

Cehhh..masa aku interview kata portfolio aku mixed, convey dgn liti..KONON..what a piece of bullwhack!!! Mana keje liti aku!!! MANA?

And I have seen FRAUD go about like it was the most normal thing to happen in a legal firm..aku bukan buat crite..tapi insan malang ni sendirik WITNESS!!! Apa nak jadi dgn legal profession kita? It took ‘the person that shall not be named’ 24 hours to change his/her mind to not go through with it since there was FRAUD..and then dia pepandai act as if dia tak condone in the 1st place..BULLSHIT!! I know what kind of a devil you are..doing deals under the table for your own profit..so bloody disgusting..

And then masa aku MC atas sebab-sebab yang aku akan disclosekan later, and aku out of courtesy sms dia (mmg stail dia camtu), dia pergi complain pasal aku kat colleague aku, tanya nape aku boleh mc atas sebab yang aku kata ‘maybe takkan berlaku dalam masa terdekat’. Ehhh hello, ko siapa nak decide apa aku nak buat dgn life aku?? What I decide to happen or not happen is NONE of your BLOODY BUSINESS!!

Aku tak percaya org yang dah practise begini punya lama ada perangai mcmni!!! Ehhhh…PLEASE.. go stuff it up your A**

You want people to respect you, tapi perangai macam perempuan jual sayur kat pasar..RESPECT IS EARNED..you do not get is just because you are the boss..GET THAT THROUGH YOUR UNETHICAL SKULL

Biatch..

There, I’ve said it..