That’s Life..

This post is ironic, because it is so very close to my heart and yet is something I do not intend to breach into ever again.

It was a rough and dark couple of years for me before I met Aries..and I was in a hole that I couldn’t seem to get out of. It was only when I met Aries, that I was able to snap out of the shit I was in..he helped me take baby steps in being free of my past..what that past is, I shall not divulge here.. the story is too long and painful to repeat (much earlier posts in this blog does make mention of it) ..but I was literally ‘broken’..mind, body and soul..

It seems like it was just yesterday…but 8 years has indeed passed by since then..and I am blessed to have what I possess today..lovely Aries as my husband, a baby on the way and most importantly, I am almost the happy person I once was..I got ‘me’ back..and it was mostly due to Aries’s support that I am able to be where I am today..

A phone call yesterday shattered me to the very core..and a flashback of what transpired 8 years ago was vivid..I asked Aries about this and he wanted me to make a decision on my own..he respected the fact that this was between me and …

So I gave it thought..and I decided that 8 years is a long enough time to grieve..I should not look back anymore..and I would not jeorpadise the love and trust Aries has for me..nor the future we’re gonna have together for something that happened so long ago.. what has been buried should be left buried..

And I said my final goodbye..what a relief it was…

“Kelip-kelip disangka api,
Kalau api di mana puntungnya?,
Hilang ghaib disangka mati,
Kalau mati di mana kuburnya..”

Thank you Aries, for what you have gone through, your patience..for that..forever grateful I will be..

*Fly away my angel..for now you are free*

Aries was a darling this weekend!

We woke up late saturday morning and then went shopping for his shoe on Saturday at KLCC, I saw this realy cute shop selling killer men’s shoes at really affordable prices so I decided to treat him
And then he brought me to my early birthday treat - to Tony Roma’s for food for me and baby in tummy!

Menu we had: -

1. Kickin Shrimp as a starter;
2. Aries and ribs (on the bone);
3. Rosemary and garlic chicken for me;
4. Hot chocolate and mango juice for us.

Of course kena mintak air kosong sebab portions dia sgt besar and tak mampu nak habiskan..tapi Aries dapat habiskan ribs dia..

Yummy..yummy..yummy!

Pastu hubby beli baju plak..hehe..nape ntah bulan ni dia shopping la sakan..

But my turn next month to shop..beware! eheh..

On Sunday, Aries bangun awal..nasib baik dia paksa bangun, because dari last week dah ada craving nak makan roti canai Melayu kat seksyen 2 Shah Alam..it is as good as it was 2 or 3 years back, which was when I last had it..! Yummylicious!

Too bad you had to leave so early on Sunday..tapi tiket cam dah terhabis…so what to do..

Can’t wait for our next adventure this weekend..and quite a long weekend its gonna be this weekend..org lain celebrate deepavali..but kita celebrate ‘you n me and baby’!

“When you walk away..I count the steps that you take”

Aries is coming home!! tak sabarnye..

Did you know I read our lovey dovey love letters ‘back in the day’ semalam..?

Well..how can I sleep after reliving the sweet memories of u n me?

Macam movie yang sangat best..bila semuanya tertayang kembali di dalam virtual ‘wayang’ in my head..

Thank you..for not giving up hope on me dulu, I really thought at the time that ‘perasaan cinta’ itu was not for me. That my time had come and gone..I really thought that you were wasting your time..

Tapi, you had a resolve that was set in stone and.. you took my breath away. And to this day you will always ask, ‘why did you choose me?’ .

I would never want to answer that..tapi the truth is, it was one word that you said to me all those years ago, dekat pantai PD yang sgt indah that changed everything. Awak kata awak ‘ikhlas’. And I truly felt ‘keikhlasan’ itu. Perkataan itu rupanya kunci hati dan perasaan ini.

Itulah pembuka mata dan jiwa..and your patience have never wavered to this day. Di situ disedari, maybe syurga diri ini ada bersamamu..and alhamdulillah, kini kita telah bergelar suami isteri.

Jauhnya lagi perjalanan kita, and perhaps it will not be an easy journey tapi selagi adanya ‘keikhlasan’ itu, semuanya boleh diatasi..InsyaAllah.

I hold on to these words of yours, yang awak beri saya zaman ‘dulu-dulu’ itu : -

“tak pernah sampai, namun tanganku sampai,
berdiri di daratan, namun aku lemas di dasaran,
suatu yang asing namun itulah ujian,
tali Allah jualah kita berpegang…”

Now, my love do I understand what you meant by these words..

I do love you so..and words just fail me..

May God bless our life and may we be reunited in our death..

Always me di sini, pencinta yang setia..

Aries is not feeling well today..

It is funny how when you get married, you tend to feel what your other half is feeling..

When I heard his voice, all scruffy and grumpy last night..I ended up completely unable to sleep. Plus there was a thunderstorm at house area that scared the crap out of me..every time the lightning struck, I could feel the house shake I think..I s’ppose I would have been feeling better if I had Aries to hug at night to make me feel better at times like those ..

I realise that trying to take care of Aries when he is 500 km away is no easy feat..in fact, it is near to impossible. I cannot make him eat any medicine when he is sick, cannot make sure that he eats nutritious stuff, cannot make sure his wardrobe is nice and ready for work..and make sure that he stays out of the rain and get enough sleep. I hate the AG Chambers at this point of time for separating us..because I do not think it is healthy for him, mentally and physically, if he is not here with me and the baby in tummy, and he has to travel on average for 10 hours every weekend by bus from JB and KL, and its just like jet lag..but only its ‘bus lag’ (:-P) and I do not think that’s healthy either.

I’ve got the mind to find the person responsible for his transfer and give that fella the scolding of his or her life and believe me, seeing me angry is scary..because it almost never happens and when it does..there is hell to pay..but I know that is not how it works.

There is no way I am ever stepping foot in JB ever again (no pun intended to any friends who reside there), and being preggy..travelling by bus or driving for long periods of time is definitely a no-no. So Aries and I are currently stuck in a rut.

Sigh..I hope things will work itself out for soon..me and Aries..we belong together..Heck, we lived together even before we ever got married and being apart is a no-go.

I miss u bebie..lots and lots..

Hari Jumaat..keje lewat and nak pick up Aries.. so left office around 7 and sampai section 17 bus station and waited..Aries sampai 1 hour and a half later! (Takpe, it was not his fault, I knew if he drove, it will only take him 3 hours ..ehekk).

Sambil menunggu tu, me and baby in tummy jadi sgt lapar and ada craving nak makan ‘telur berlada’ plak! Bila hubby sampai, terus pergi cari..but tak sempat nak pergi tempat ber’dating’ dulu..heh, so maybe this weekend boleh..:-p

Sabtu was HAVOC! Everything was home cooked and home prepared and was ready..tapi at precisely 3 o’clock, when open house dah di ‘open’ untuk rombongan memakan makan..there was a storm plak..needless to say..semuanya basah lenjun bila sampai.. most was stuck in a jam..due to flooding and a fallen tree..but most made it..and my oh my..ramai sungguh..

These were ‘my people that made it’ despite the weather:-

1. Nik & wifey;
2. Norwen & other half;
3. Mike & other half;
4. Kip & Adis (they’re each other’s halves of course);
5. Hazri & wifey;
6. Intan Azliana & hubby;
7. Zizan and his cute saudara;
8. Muhaimin and his friend;
9. Ila
10. Dymphna & Conrad;
11. Sri;
12. Sue; and
13. Fui & Girlfriend.

Tq for making the effort guys!

Saudara mara belah ibu showed up in droves..ok lah tu..and some even helped with cooking!..

Saudara belah ayah pulak..humph..memang tak boleh nak harap.. (except for Tah & family , juga Maksu & family - yg jugak telah di’blacklist’kan saudara mara ‘bongek’ tu). Apparently, on Sunday pun ada open house sesama mereka and cett - mahu pulak turun dari Ipoh ke KL? Takleh dtg sehari awal jejakkan kaki kat Ara Damansara ke? Nampaknya sudah lupa jalan ke rumah abg sendiri..how PATHETIC. Tapi itu YOUR LOSS..janji jemputan ikhlas telah diberi..dosa tanggung SENDIRI..sebagai ustaz belaka, anda semua mesti tahu itu kan? Atau you CAN’T WALK THE TALK? CAN’T PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH..? *Smirk*

Hari Ahad, hubby ‘auntie yang itu’ dan anak sulungnye dtg amik opah. Nak kawin lagi rupanya si anak tu..dengan USTAZAH? Maybe people change kot..nasihat buat dia, tolonglah jgn ‘jadi kaki mabuk’, ‘jadi hantu porno’, ‘jadi kaki pukul’ lagi mcm with your ex-wife itu..but I am not surprised, anybody with a MOTHER like that will grow ‘MESSED UP’. And to think ‘auntie itu’ tak sukakan cucunya sebab cucunya ‘gelap’ ikut ibunya? Sian anak tak berdosa itu.. Apa agaknya balasan Tuhan buat org sebegini..I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE..

Tapi enough pasal org-org tak penting macam itu..

House was officially closed at 12 p.m and everybody was exhausted..My feet was swollen beyond belief..and so was everybody else who helped..

Thanks for a memorable open house this raya..Next year, ramaikanlah lagi ye?

*Hugs*

I am annoyed..immensely..

Apa masalah org zaman sekarang? We were all in sekolah rendah, high school, law school, honors and what not.. we were friends were we not? Susah senang sekali nak menempa kejayaan..nak dapatkan that qualification..we fight, we squabble but we were all in it TOGETHER. In the end..without the ‘we’ takde anyone of us yang ada di sini..

Skali..now that you are a big shot ’somebody’ (kononla), dah tak kenal dah ke? dah takleh nak kawan dah ke? OOooo..I HAVE A DIFFERENT SET OF FRIENDS NOW..Seriously? I mean..seriously?

To malas or sombong to pick up a phone and chat? takpe lagi..maklumlah bil tepon mahal.. To malas to type sms tanya khabar? takpe lagi..maklumla penat nak taip..and 1 sen punya sms pun..still duit kan..tapi sekali setahun nak ajak jumpa time raya pun takleh nk buat ke? Friendster kan ada? Facebook kan ada? Kan free menda tu..takleh nak buat jugak ke?

Just because tak dpt nak contact selalu does not mean that we are ‘NOT’ friends anymore..it just means that we are too busy to keep in touch and that is understandable..we all have busy lives..tapi seriously people..Raya ni..it’s all about silaturrahim..maaf and memaafi..jumpa dan catch up..Inilah masanya..this is the only time..mana tahu tuhan nak ambil nyawa kita esok lusa..tak ke rugi simpan perasaan tak elok and tak dapat memaafkan and dimaafkan sebelum diambil nyawa..Ingat, dosa dengan Tuhan, kita bleh mintak ampun ngan Tuhan..tapi dose dgn org..once you die or the other person dies..that is IT..no second chance for you! It will be too late..God cannot forgive that sin for the person, the person has to forgive you him or herself..

Kalau itula perangai yang YOU nak maintain..then you are the one who is losing..MAK AYAH tak ajar ke? I am just speechless..perangai mcm ni..

Tapi takpe..since raya kan..maafkan jela..tapi seriously..YOU need an attitude adjustment..seriously!!

SENGAL

I was too sick to blog yesterday but today i feel loads better and am back in the office.

Back to Raya moments in Kelantan:-

1. My in-laws treated me like a queen..hehe..me being preggy and everything..so dok relaks je la kat umah tu..

2. Mind you, travelling to kelantan while being pregnant is no easy feat..5 hours on the car from perak resulted in swollen blue feet and thighs and continuous nausea. It was nasty

3. I wanted to go to the beach, so sis in law, mom in law, dad in law..baby anak saudara isha and hubby, graciously took me to terengganu..mak ooii bestnye mandi laut!!

4. Had a craving for mee kuah..so mother in law cooked for me!! Sedap tak usah kira..tapi too bad i threw it all up later on the way back to KL..

Nasib bagus jugak tak balik ke Perak..krisis semakin menjadi jadi..malasla nak pikirkan kekadang..leceh

All in all..it wasn’t bad..cuma travelling saje menyebabkan badan tak sihat.

In addition, me, Aries and familie is holding open house this saturday..jemputla semua dtg ke umah..to those yg dapat sms and do not know my address, it is: -

No. 31, Jalan PJU 1A/29C,
Ara Damansara,
47301, Petaling Jaya,
Selangor Darul Ehsan

Looking forward to seeing you all!!

It’s tuesday..but i’m still not back at the office..after raya celebrations, I got real sick..memang tak lalu..

Went for a check-up today, I lost 1.3 kgs..not so good considering I’m only in my first trimester..tapi nak buat mcmmana, makan tak lalu..

Aries baru je balik Johor..so its a bit miserable..

Raya was good,tapi agak sedih hanya dapat beraya di Perak the day before raya..itula nasib kawin dgn org kelantan..org jauh..nak ulang alik, badan pun tak larat..

But Kelantan was not bad..it was ok..

Will update more bila larat..sekarang ni mcm terlampau penat..