Dana has given birth to a very healthy baby boy..
Ida has given birth to a healthy baby boy as well..
I am 34 weeks and counting..
I can’t wait for my angel to come out of my tummy..and he kicks so much these days..I get bruises on my tummy so you can guess how forceful those kicks are..
Anyways, in this post..yours truly is going to be brutally honest..so here goes:-
I never thought that having children was something that I would want in my marriage with Aries. (gasp-gasp). I know.. i know..some of you might be gaping with horror.. tapi betul..this was always something that I am sure of, simply because: -
1. I am not a fan of children..(gasp-gasp-gasp), sorry but really I am not..especially kids these days..strutting around in designer wear that costs more than the parent’s clothes..and rolling around on the ground in shopping malls when they don’t get what they want; and
2. I do not agree with the perception/notion/belief that a woman must have children to be complete/sempurna/whatever other term that society uses. I am completely happy to adopt as oppose to having children on my own..or dispense with the requirement of having children altogether;
Of course, one can imagine the look of absolute horror on Aries’s face when he knew of this, but then again..he knew who I was and what I stand by very early on. I guess he thought that I would change gradually..which i am afraid is not the case.
Now, don’t think that just because I said the things I said above.. I am going to love the child I am carrying any less. It’s just that I won’t be the one whispering and then engage myself in mindless gossip about women who has difficulty conceiving, simply because I think conceiving should not be the highlight of a woman’s life at all. If it happens, then it does..but if it doesn’t, then so what? What’s the big bloody deal?
I have heard numerous reasons why women are suppose to get pregnant and all, some from friends, colleagues, relatives (well, they just won’t shut up when it comes to this) and the reasons are usually:-
1. Nanti suami cari lain;
2. Malulah kalau tak subur;
3. Siapa nak jaga masa tua;
4. Nak mengelakkan kesunyian time tua;
5. NANTI SUAMI CARI LAIN (again)
6. Tak sama amik anak org dengan anak sendiri
Well, reason No. 1 and 5 does NOT make sense at all sebab ramai je org laki yang bini dia dah beranak 7 kali pun carik lain jugak, alasannya pulak..bini dah longgarla, tak pandai jaga badanla, runsing bising kat umahla..bini asyik lebihkan anakla..bla bla bla..Now, what does that tell you about a man?
That they will come up with excuses to do whatever it is that they want to do, so what you do to try and please them does not matter really. As a disclaimer, I would like to state that not all men are this way..some men can keep their instincts to roam wild in check..but men like this are more of the exception than they are the rule.
Reason No. 2 I find rather ridiculous, more with all the technologies available that can help couples conceive..the word ‘barren’ takleh pakaila skrang..and ohhh..tak subur ni actually works both ways yea..?
Reason 3 and 4 pun..I mean is that not a lousy reason to have children? you actually expect your kids to jaga you ke time you dah tua, how many parents are actually taken care off by their kids time tua yang you kenal? Tell me? Bukankah rumah org tua skrang overflowing with occupants, and most of the occupants do actually have kids. So what does that tell you? Do the math..
Last reason i.e. reason No. 6 at first glance might make sense..but I do believe that such a perception is up to the individual. Look at the brangelina bunch, the madonna bunch..and plenty of families everywhere else. Love should not discriminate and should not be limited by ties that are bound in blood. Heck, I’m not even on speaking terms with half my relatives (refer to previous posts for reason why) so..what does that tell you?
Try figure it out..
Why am I babbling all this crap away you might ask? I just need to get this out of my system…and I have. I have friends who are undergoing depression and are put to pressure by their HUSBANDS, RELATIVES and EVERYBODY around them to have children and I AM SICK OF IT.
It is primitive, silly and unnecessary. Apa salahnya kalau isteri, menantu anda nak tunggu setahun untuk preparekan diri menjadi ibu? What happens if she goes through a pregnancy she doesn’t want and is unprepared for and ends up going through postnatal depression and then kills the baby? I know that’s an absolute worst case scenario but do you know that it DOES happen?
My mum had my sis way back in 1981 and she waited 2 years to have a kid. She planned the pregnancy and boy, she told me of the hell she went through for being adamant about not wanting to have children to early.
My mum was also blamed for not producing any boys in the family, and to this day I curse my relatives from their sheer ignorance of not knowing that whether a child is a boy or a girl is determined by the SPERM who carries the XY chromosome. Besides all the sons produced by the other aunties ended up losers, so SCREW YOU la kan.
I hope this post doesn’t offend and if it does, I honestly do not give a crap at all.
This is my blog and I’m entitled to my own opinions hahaha.
To those long suffering friends, I hope you guys bersabar. I am behind you 100% .
I am still grinning as I am imagining the terror on my uncle’s face if he ever gets to read this. I will be branded ‘UN-ISLAMIC’ againla macamni.
Ahaha
